February 2012
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Transactions of Note and Import
Orioles Banned from South Korea. While this has been announced because the Orioles signed a 17-year-old, inside sources claim that South Korea has been trying to ban the Orioles for years. Simply because, man, the Orioles?!
Rockies sign Steve Holm. Steve Holm!
Two Mets were suspended for using “Drugs of Abuse.” One of them, Dock Doyle, was also suspended for unlawfully escaping from...
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Shane Victorino to Guest Star on Hawaii-Five O
Take it away:
“Shane Victorino is appearing on the Feb. 20 episode of Hawaii Five-O on CBS. According to CBS, Victorino stars as a business executive on a company retreat. Olympic speed skater Apolo Ohno also appears in the episode as a Hawaiian history buff. The episode centers around the murder of a man dressed as a Hawaiian NaKoa warrior.”
If only this was a Scooby Doo...
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Spitball, Spitball, Wherefore Art Thou Spitball?
I remember as a young boy being fascinated by the mere idea of a spitball. I would look at my parents incredulously and ask “You mean, that instead of not licking things like you tell me, I would purposely lick a baseball to throw at someone? Cooooool.” Of course, just like parental figures, Major League Baseball wised up and decided to outlaw the practice, mostly on grounds of...
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History Buffs? Your Dream Job Awaits
Ever dreamed of sprinting 200 yards in extremely top heavy clothing? Of paying living tribute to the our country’s forefathers? Of feeling like a celebrity in someone else’s skin? Then you’re in luck! The Washington Nationals are looking for the best candidate at losing races. I speak, of course, about the beleaguered Teddy Roosevelt.
From the Washington Nationals:
“The...
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“Some people die twice: once when they retire, and again when they actually pass...”
– Vin Scully on not retiring ever
(h/t Dodger Thoughts)
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“I was always a Reds and Bengals fan. It’s pretty cool to finally be a Red.”
– Ryan Ludwick then added “and even cooler that I’m not a Bengal.”
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Rich Harden to Miss 2012 Season
(image by Rocor)
That’s the report from Ray Ratto:
“Peter Gammons says Rich Harden saw Dr. James Andrews, Andrews saw a surgical procedure, and Harden will miss 2012; wish that was a surprise.”
Here is a list of things more brittle than Harden’s tendons and muscles:
The soft spot on a baby’s head
Faberge eggs
That’s it. That’s the extent of the...
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Oil Can Boyd Admits to Pitching 'Two-Thirds' of...
Boyd, who is one of Red Sox Nation and Independent Ball’s favorite sons due to his longevity and outspokenness, revealed just how intense his cocaine use was during his playing days. Not shockingly, this comes mere months before the release of his book.
Boyd told WBZ Radio:
“There wasn’t one ballpark that I probably didn’t stay up all night, until four or five in the morning, and...
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Transactions of Note and Import
Padres sign Jeff Suppan. Suppan gets a minor league deal, and presumably, in addition to the $950,000 he’ll earn if he gets on the major league roster, he’ll be able to plug his restaurant to the umpire and opposing catcher whenever he comes to bat.
Red Sox head to arbitration with David Ortiz. I have a feeling he’ll get something closer to the $16.5 million number he submitted,...
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Nick Johnson went to get a sub
(Photo courtesy of Amanda Rykoff)
And he might end up with a sub and a job! Roch Kubatko has the news that the Orioles are close to a minor league agreement with Johnson, who, despite a career .401 OBP, hasn’t been effective since 2009, mainly due to health problems. Like a lot of them. Many guys are worth signing to a minor league deal, just for the heck of it, and I guess Johnson is one...
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“I’m going to be my own person. There are a lot of professional athletes...”
– And that’s the paradox of Bryce Harper. Washington’s stud prospect made a name for himself in the minors last year by cruising through Single-A before struggling a bit in Double-A. He’s a guy who everyone in baseball, not just Nationals fans, will be watching, and to that end,...
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PECOTA IS BACK! →
No, I don’t mean Bill Pecota, late 80s Royals utilityman, I speak of Baseball-Prospectus’ PECOTA forecasting system. It’s the fun tool that not only projects a player’s stats for the upcoming season, it also tells us that Matt Kemp’s most similar player is Duke Snider, making the world seem like it’s run by order and not chaos. Of course, as Grant Brisbee points...
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Ways Baseball Boyfriend Could Be Even Worse
Yesterday, when news of a a new fantasy baseball game geared towards women called “Baseball Boyfriend” came out, the internet erupted in anger. Not only was this yet another attempt at patronizing women by assuming they could only be entertained by the hot players rather than the on-field action, it also assumes they would want their stat pages to be filled with hearts scrawled on...
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Transactions of Note and Import
Bill Hall signs with Yankees. Now that the Yankees have the top utilityman, nothing will stop them from securing the 2012 World Series. Hall’s Twitter account reflects this fact.
Edwin Jackson and Roy Oswalt turn down Pirates. When did Primanti Brothers sandwiches stop being legal tender?
Jamey Wright signs with the Dodgers. Is it okay to finally admit that I can’t remember the...
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Moneyball 2020
After Billy Beane signed a 7 year extension that will keep him in gold and green until 2019, Hollywood rushed the Moneyball sequel into development.
The Year is 2020. Billy Beane and Peter Brand stand in Cormac McCarthy’s Oakland Coliseum. They wear leather jumpsuits covered in spikes.
Peter Brand: Our goal should not be to buy wins. Our goal should be to buy…robots. And...
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WatchThe one flaw in baseball uniforms: not enough dazzle. Smash rectifies that situation nicely.
You’ll also be shocked to realize that the “National Pastime” being sung about is not baseball, but rather innuendo for something else entirely. Whoa.
(h/t Hardball Talk)
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Transactions of Note and Import
Cubs DFA Blake Dewitt. I guess Theo Epstein has made his feelings on bearded utilitymen clear. The move was made to accommodate Adrian Cardenas who was claimed off of waivers from the A’s.
Rangers sign Joe Beimel and Conor Jackson. Lefthanded relievers and righthanded bench bats will never die.
Mariners sign Hong-Chih Kuo and Shawn Camp. Kuo is dazzling when his elbow and mental status...
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Updated: Braves Unveil New Alternate Uniform
And they’re nice looking too, hearkening back to the 1960s jersey top by trading out the white for a warm creamy color and even ditching the screaming Indian shoulder patch for a more tasteful crossed tomahawks option. However, this uniform now gives the Braves five different options including the home whites, road blues, (updated) road greys, alternate home reds, 1970s home white &...
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Yankees to Introduce Two Fragrances
Finally. I’m so tired of coming home from baseball games and smelling only of grass, hot dogs, beer, and stale, day old sweat. Now I can smell like a champ.
Take it away, Wallace Matthews:
Called, simply, “New York Yankees” and “New York Yankees for Her,” the team will introduce two “official fragrances” at a cocktail reception in Manhattan on...
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Jake Peavy Keeps It On The Hundo*
When asked about his health for the upcoming season, Peavy said:
“I’m as 100 percent as I can be. I don’t know if I’m 100 percent as to what I was four years ago. I know I’m as 100 percent as 100 percent is going to get after what I had done (surgically). I guess that’s the best way to say it.”
He then added “but not 100% of my previous 100%. That...
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This Sinker Kills Fascists: Orioles Trade Jeremy...
In a move that makes sense to nearly no one outside of the involved organizations, today saw Jeremy Guthrie traded from the Orioles to the Rockies for Jason Hammel and Matt Lindstrom. While Guthrie is not a sexy pitcher, he’s been an awfully effective one for the Orioles, averaging nearly 200 innings a season and being the ace-in-name-only for the club. However, with the Rockies looking to...
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Things You May Have Missed While You Were Living...
While you were rooting for Drew Bledsoe to run off the sideline and take his place as New England’s rightful savior (or perhaps that was just me), baseball continued on. What you may have missed in your Bud Light-and-Nacho stupor:
CJ Wilson is a Tupac fan. Totally thought he was on Biggie’s side.
Collecting Starting Lineup action figures were once my life’s pursuit. This...
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Space Oddity: Or Why Baseball is Better Than... →
Does football not enthuse you? Would you rather watch a fifth straight pick off throw to first base than see another play action pass? Don’t worry, it’s completely acceptable and you’re in good company. So even if you’re hootin’ and hollerin’ and enjoying the pizza and beer, if you notice that something is missing in your soul, give in to it. That just means you...
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Baseball is Very Long When You're Lonely
With the Super Bowl, the truest American holiday, coming up tomorrow, The New York Times sat down with writers Donald Antrim (who wrote my favorite passage on pancakes that could ever be penned) Chad Harbach, and Susan Orleans to discuss sports. With Harbach, author of The Art of Fielding, in attendance, the conversation inevitably shifted to baseball:
N.Y.T. What is it about baseball so many...
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Watch
“Samson came to my bed Told me that my hair was red Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed Oh I cut his hair myself one night A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light And he told me that I’d done alright And kissed me ‘til the mornin’ light, the mornin’ light And he kissed me ‘til the mornin’ light”
And yes, they did bag...
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Josh Hamilton Speaks About His Relapse
Earlier today, Josh Hamilton held a press conference to discuss his relapse from this past Monday. Hamilton was honest, contrite, and extremely open, even describing the exact order of events on Monday evening.
From the press conference:
“When I talk about being sneaky, nobody saw me actually with a beer or drink in my hand. I can find ways where people don’t see it. That...
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Watchmlboffseason:
Fourth base!
- ə
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Strange Times in Baseball: 1891-1895
It’s been far too long, but once again we return to a time before the 20th century; a time when men were men and baseball was barely baseball.
1845-1875 is here, 1876-1884 is here, and 1885-1890 here. As always, my source is the Baseball Chronology, edited by James Charlton. Onwards!
March 1, 1891:
“Pittsburgh and Cleveland are the 2 NL Clubs making the heaviest raids against the...
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Five Least Favorite Names to Write
Mark Buehrle
Jeff Francoeur
Mark Teixeira
AJ Pierzynski
Joe Smith
This post was not spell checked.
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Edwin Jackson signs with Washington
(Photo by Todd Awbrey)
It must be strange to be a Washington Nationals fan. The farm system is blossoming with talent, yet the bats have yet to arrive; Jordan Zimmermann and Stephen Strasburg share immense talent and a penchant for ligament replacement surgery; and ownership is happy to spend money on top free agent talent, yet the players choose to sign elsewhere. Perhaps the Nationals never...
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Josh Hamilton Spotted Drinking at Dallas-Fort...
I hate passing stories along like this as it seems to be rubber necking, but sadly, as Josh Hamilton’s battle with alcohol and drugs is long documented and this was reported by Gerry Fraley ofThe Dallas Morning News, it’s newsworthy.
From Fraley:
“According to individuals familiar with the episode, Hamilton drank alcohol on Monday night in an area bar. The circumstances that...
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McGraw's Team to be Sartorially Fit
The text:
“The haberdashery of the New York National league baseball players this summer will be more elaborate than has ever been worn by a baseball team heretofore. The home uniform is to be a soft velvety flannel of of colonial cream. The buttonholes will be worked in colored silk thread and the monogram “N.Y.” will also be worked in silk.
The road uniform is to be of...
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Jose Reyes' Shave and a Haircut
On Friday, MLB Network will be broadcasting Jose Reyes’ haircut so that he can fit in with the new spic-and-span Marlins. This promises to be the biggest reveal since Geraldo opened Capone’s vault.
That said, people are quite hopeful of how Reyes will look when he’s finished. What look will he go with? Here are a few options I hope he choses:
The Morrissey:
The Moe:
The...
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Those 30 Magic Words Every Fan Wants to Hear
“I don’t think there was a moment last year from the word go where at anytime did we feel like, ‘This is kind of special’ or ‘This is inspiring baseball.’
- Paul Konerko on the 2011 White Sox
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Transactions of Note and Import
DUI charges dropped against James Loney. Without enough evidence after Loney hit three cars, prosecutors had to admit that Loney is just a terrible, terrible driver and possible crazy person.
Padres sign Micah Owings. It’s only a minor league deal despite Owings immediately becoming their best hitter.
Mariners sign Carlos Guillen. Turns out you can go home again. Doesn’t hurt that...
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themightyjoeyoung asked: I saw an article done on the extra wild card teams, and they went back in the past decade and saw that most of the teams that would have won it were 88-90 wins with others on either side of that midpoint, so it wouldn't exactly be horrible. Usually, the wild card winner is better than the worst division winner. And with a 1 game playoff between you and the division series, there's now...
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