May 2012
2 tags
San Francisco, I'm Yours
(image via SportsBarNation)
Like the State of the Union, occasionally the Extremely Important and Powerful Manboys who run this site must get together to drink beer and watch baseball, preferably in an underground bunker surrounded with hi-tech security.
With that said, I just wanted to give a heads up that this Internet space will be dark for the Memorial Day weekend as we celebrate the...
8 tags
4 tags
5 tags
5 tags
5 tags
5 tags
I Get It Now, The AL East Exists In An Alternate...
Imagine you’re the Boston Red Sox and you’re facing the Baltimore Orioles. It should be an easy game, after all, when have the Orioles been good? And you’ve got Daniel Bard starting who, while he was only pitching relief before this year, had struck out over a batter an inning complete with a 2.88 ERA in his Major League career. And with a payroll just shy of $200 million, your...
5 tags
4 tags
Edwin Encarnacion Likes Hitting Baseballs, Hates...
Edwin Encarnacion has always had power, which is kind of the reason why he’s still in the Major Leagues. His glove, to put it kindly, rests somewhere between iron pan and Lovecraftian monster that will one day destroy the world. It’s why he passed from the Blue Jays to the offense-starved Athletics back to the Blue Jays over the course of one offseason, with nary an at-bat taking place...
4 tags
Stupid Pet Tricks
From the venerable Bill James:
“This is a true story; the Red Sox minor league equipment co-ordinator used to have a dog that had been trained to tell the difference between a minor league ball and a major league ball. We would sort the balls into “buckets”—major league balls in one bucket, minor league balls in the other. Major league teams have dozens and dozens of...
7 tags
6 tags
The Superman/Tony Campana Venn Diagram
Tony Campana is fast and wily. Video proof. Photographic proof.
(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
He’s also so much like Superman, I’m not so sure he’s not Superman. Consider:
I’m on to you, Mr. Campana. But don’t worry, I’ll play Jimmy Olsen if you’ll simply be my best friend.
And for those who have trouble seeing the diagram, full size version...
8 tags
4 tags
6 tags
Turns Out Adrian Beltre Can Smile After All
He just needs Felix Hernandez to melt his heart first:
Your browser does not support iframes.
Of course, this is more akin to Beltre’s natural state:
(gifs via BoSox Gifs, NotGraphs)
3 tags
The Reading Level of Sportswriters
Since sportswriters and thinkers constantly use numbers to judge the value of the ballplayers they love, it’s only fair that the tables are occasionally turned. Hence, the Harvard Sports Analysis blog has turned to writing’s WAR, in this case the Flesh-Kincaid Reading Level, a one number catch all to describe the level a writer’s working at.
Just like WAR, this number has a...
5 tags
Santiago Casilla At The Plate
I especially like the frightened stare behind him as he walks back to the plate, as if to say “Whoa. Dude. Did that really happen?”
(Artful .gifs made by @gidget)
5 tags
3 tags
6 tags
The Three Stages of Life
You know that riddle about the three stages of life? Ozzie Guillen has his own version when talking about his days facing Jamie Moyer:
“I don’t remember much. I know he went from very bad to very good to very old.”
5 tags
7 tags
Proven Closers
Since April 20th, Alfredo Aceves has allowed two earned runs, and posted an 18/5 K/BB ratio in 17.1 innings.
In that same time frame, Jonathan Papelbon, the former Red Sox closer, has allowed three earned runs and posted a 14/2 K/BB ratio in 10.1 innings.
This proves two things:
Using random time frames, I can prove almost anything.
Proven closers may exist, but they’re...
4 tags
5 tags
Profanity in Baseball
Sam Miller of Baseball Prospectus has composed the article to end all articles on profanity in baseball, and since we live in the modern age, he’s made sure to include lots of animated gifs to illustrate his points. I shudder to think of all the children still being read picture books with still images when there is a whole world of repeating images out there. But that’s a different...
5 tags
Livan Hernandez Prepares for a Wedding By Throwing...
Your browser does not support iframes.
Don’t worry, with exception to the boy’s pride and dignity, he was all right. The sunflower seeds came in at roughly the speed of Livan Hernandez’s curveball, so he walked away unscathed.
(h/t Baseball Nation)
4 tags
“If, at the end, you don’t want to get your heart broken, then we...”
– Chris Perez on Indians baseball. Catch the fever!
(via Big League Stew)
4 tags
The Eephus League Magazine Is Here →
This morning’s great reveal was Bethany Heck’s latest project, the Eephus League magazine. It’s what every great magazine should be—with vintage photographs, art, a study of nicknames, and nary a mention of what the Kardashians are up to.
Click through to check it out on your computational or mobile viewing device.
4 tags
Tim Lincecum, Come Back and Save Us From This Pale...
Tim Lincecum doesn’t lose to the Athletics. For one, they’re the Athletics and Mark Ellis may have been the Athletics best hitter that Lincecum has had to face on a year-to-year basis. For another, he’s Tim Freakin’ Lincecum and until recently, no one could beat him.
Before yesterday’s game against the A’s, Lincecum was 5-1 with a 1.38 career ERA against the...
7 tags
Sullivan's Sluggers: The Crowdfunded Baseball...
There are three things on this Earth that I love like no other. As a redblooded American male, they are baseball, comic books, and horror movies. Hence my ownership of the Mars Attacks Baseball Special and the high esteem I hold for Battlefield Baseball. So when I heard about Mark Andrew Smith’s latest project, Sullivan’s Sluggers, a baseball horror comic, my heart gave a jump.
...
3 tags
Things You May Have Missed While You Were Living...
While you were out stuffing your face with hot dogs covered in macaroni and cheese and Fritos (well, that’s what I was doing, perhaps you made healthier choices), the baseball world spun on unabated. Here’s what you may have missed.
Not to revel in Albert Pujol’s struggles and failures or anything, as he is in a critical part of his hero’s journey, but here is the random...
4 tags
WatchOn the chart of unexpected yet delightful things to ever happen in the history of the world, Stephen Strasburg’s first career home run ranks somewhere behind the existence of sentient life but in front of man’s first trip to space.
UPDATE: Strasburg also left the game with bicep tightness, proving that the universe is also random and cruel.
Davey Johnson also proved how smart he is...
5 tags
Runs? Runs? Who Needs Runs?
After striking out 15 times against Max Scherzer in a losing effort (all swinging, natch), the Pirates dropped to 19-22. It’s a pretty amazing record considering that they are scoring only 2.88 runs per game with a rotation consisting of Cy Young contenders Erik Bedard, James McDonald, and Kevin Correia.
Even more impressive (is that the right word?) the Pirates are on pace to score the...
6 tags
6 tags
2 tags
Shut Yo Mouth
David Ortiz on Albert Pujols:
“Albert Pujols? Let me tell you something about Albert Pujols. Albert Pujols is a bad mother f—-er. The baseball world needs Albert Pujols.”
9 tags
Read This Comic: Action Comics #50
In 1942, with America having recently joined the war effort, the country was in need of fresh, new ballplayers to keep up the quality of play. Enter, Clark Kent: Super Scout.
When the Daily Planet sends mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent to Lauderville, Florida for spring training, (home of the alternate reality Metropolis Ravens), Lois Lane begs Perry White to send her as well. We then get...
4 tags
5 tags
3 tags
4 tags
Chris Volstad Should Probably Stop Getting Starts
After lasting only 2 innings against the Phillies earlier tonight, giving up four runs and six hits in that time span, the Cubs may want to think about transitioning Volstad to life in the pen. Or the minors. Or on an experimental moon base that may one day be home to the Oakland Athletics. The loss dropped Volstad to a league worst 0-6 and elevated his ERA to 7.46, sandwiching him between Mike...
6 tags
Cleveland Indians Slash Fiction
The Associated Press after Santana’s game-winning single in the 11th inning:
“Carlos Santana didn’t mind the postgame pounding he took from his teammates Thursday. In fact, he enjoyed it.”
There’s gotta be a better way to say that.
5 tags
6 tags
Babe Ruth Would Be Ashamed
Rangers unveiling Great Bratbino on May 25, a two-foot bratwurst with sauerkraut and options including chili and jalapenos.
— Anthony Andro (@aandro) May 17, 2012
“Only two feet?” I can imagine Ruth saying, “Why, that’s not even a snack. Come back when you have a concession worthy of my time.”
(via Hardball Talk)
8 tags
5 tags
2 tags
4 tags
Will Rhymes is the Hero Tampa Deserves
Your browser does not support iframes.
In one of the scarier moments you’ll see on the ballfield, after heading down to first following a hit-by-pitch, Will Rhymes passed out and had to be held up by the first base coach. Fortunately, it turned out to be nothing but some excess adrenalin flowing through his body…or was it.
When getting to the hospital and being asked his name,...
6 tags
How to Properly Field A Ballclub
“You’ve got to have a big set of doberman [expletives] to close.”
- Jonathan Papelbon on closing.
Filling out a depth chart is hard, what with properly maximizing a ballplayers assets while minimizing their weaknesses. I’ve simplified that.
Simply select a player’s greatest skill and his emotional/physical well being, and poof, his true position shall be revealed.
...
