February 2012
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The Onion: Joel Zumaya Agrees to Throw One Last... →
In all great humor, there is truth. Sadly, The Onion may have used a little too much:
“Injury-plagued fireball reliever Joel Zumaya informed reporters Monday that his new $800,000 contract with the Twins obligates him to throw one last beautifully self-destructive pitch that will finally annihilate his arm forever. “I’ve undergone dozens of surgeries and months of painstaking...
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If You Ever Wanted to be a Batboy for Stan Musial,...
Jack Houston, a batboy for the Cardinals from 1942-1944, interacting with hundreds of Hall of Famers in his time, strips away some of the romance from the job:
“We did everything — cleaned dirt off spikes, polished shoes, put clean towels in their lockers, picked up uniforms, hung up jockstraps…”
Houston has a lot of great stories, including a nice tip from Joe Cronin,...
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The Garfoose is Loose in Italy
(L.E. BASKOW / TRIBUNE PHOTO)
Besides a great name for a movie about a frat guy (Garfoose) drinking and boozing his way through Italy while learning a little about himself, it’s also a great opportunity for everyone’s favorite baseballer-turned writer, Dirk Hayhurst. Rather than heading to AAA and hoping for an injury to the big league squad, Hayhurst will be wining and dining...
January 2012
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Transactions of Note and Import
Today I’m judging all signings based on how many World Series titles they’re worth. It’s a ranking system that will surely take the country by storm.
Brewers sign Corey Patterson. Who needs Prince Fielder? The Brewers have Corey Patterson! .025 World Series titles.
Orioles sign Pat Neshek and Ronny Paulino. That’s worth .012 World Series titles, I’d imagine.
Cubs...
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The Long National Nightmare is Over
Said Jim Crane, new owner of the Astros:
“One thing that we are not going to change is the name. We received strong feedback and consensus among season ticket holders and many fans, and we will not change the name Astros. The Houston Astros are here to stay.”
Which is corporate speak for “all the windows in my Crown Victoria had been smashed in by rainbow colored bricks. And Charlie...
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Smaily Borges Was Suspended
True facts:
There is a professional ballplayer named Smaily.
He’s probably not very “smaily” right now.
He was suspended for refusing to take his drug test. That’s a rule I didn’t know existed.
This is what he looks like:
This is what his video game avatar looks like:
His name is Smaily.
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There Are Going to be A Lot of Bruised Ribs When...
If you’re a baseball player who is traveling through Chicago next year, you had better be careful not to step too close to the plate or accidentally break an unwritten rule. If you do, you’re going to pay for it.
New White Sox bench coach Mark Parent, when asked about how often the White Sox batters were hit last season, had this to say:
“You hit our guy, we’ll hit your...
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Bullpen Battles
If you’re a lefthanded reliever with fringy stuff or just a fan of managers managin’, then you’re probably a support current bullpen constructions. As relievers pitch shorter and shorter outings, allowing them to throw harder over briefer periods of time, the expectation is that their performance should also improve. That’s not the case as Dave Cameron points out:
...
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Things You May Have Missed While You Were Living...
Without a big football game on this weekend, I assume you all went into Bud Light commercial withdrawal? Don’t worry, you’ll get plenty of them next weekend. Even better, though: spring training is just a few short weeks away.
Here’s what you missed:
Jim Thome has a “handshake agreement” to work for White Sox when he retires. Considering how nice Thome is, I...
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WatchRoger Clemens, currently cultivating mass, pitched one shutout inning against the Longhorns yesterday, striking out two. You may notice that neither of the two pitches we see break 80 mph which is probably part of his ploy to out do Jamie Moyer. In Clemens’ only PitchFX season, 2007, only his curveball averaged under 80 mph.
(h/t BBTF)
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Jeff Francoeur is One Cool Mother
Jeff Francoeur is a strange fellow. Loaded with tools, saying Jeff Francoeur is shorthand for both “gritty hardnosed ole time baseball” and “bonehead jerkbag can’t take a friggin’ walk.” He may not hit right handers as well as he should or ever live up to his lofty rookie season hype, but keeps getting starting jobs because a) at least 10 teams a year start...
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Expanded Playoffs Are Coming and There's Not A...
From Ronald Blum of the Associated Press:
“I really believe we’ll have the wild card for 2012, this year,” Selig said Friday night in Chicago at a White Sox fan festival. “Clubs really want it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an issue that the clubs want more than to have the extra wild card this year.”
Well, there is one other thing: the secret to...
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Tomorrow is SABR Day
If you’re the type of man or woman who watches the Super Bowl with one eye on the TV and one on the nacho plate, never truly satisfied with the on field action as there aren’t nearly enough ground balls to short, SABR Day might be for you. Held every year on the Saturday a week before the Super Bowl, it’s a way for baseball fans to all get together and talk about the game in the...
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Read This Comic: Baseball Comics #1 by Will Eisner
(Previous Read This Comic installments with Bo Jackson and Ken Griffey Jr can be found here and here)
Will Eisner, the legendary comic book writer and artist whose legacy was sadly trashed by The Spirit, once tried to revolutionize the industry by creating a baseball comic around the character of Rube Rooky, an iceman turned pitching star. It’s an airtight premise.
If you’re...
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Dustin Richardson is the Keith Richards of...
It’s fairly common for baseball players to be caught for using performance enhancing drugs. It is uncommon for a baseball player to take all the performance enhancing drugs. That’s what farmhand/3 inning Major Leaguer Dustin Richardson managed to do when he was caught with five, count ‘em five, PEDs in his system..
From The New York Times:
“I’ve never seen a case like this,...
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Great Moments in Missed Marketing Opportunities
The A’s have gone ahead and made a Rollie Fingers bobblehead. This is a good thing. He is wearing his yellow pullover top. This is another good thing. He also has his mustache painted on. Yet again, a good thing. What could be missing then, you ask?
Sadly, the promotions team missed out on an opportunity to take a good thing and make it a great and remarkable thing. All that this bobble...
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Dallas Braden's New Tattoo Is the Stuff of Legend
Apparently the way you do it in the 209 is by tattooing Rollie Fingers riding a dolphin on a rainbow:
Sadly, this looks like it’s has been done for an upcoming Athletics commercial and not ink that will mark Braden’s body for the rest of his life.
If I had to choose, I’d have to go with Eddie Murray riding a unicorn over a gorgeous sunset. With Ken Griffey’s Jr’s...
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The Dodgers Were Reportedly In on Fielder
According to Jon Heyman, the Dodgers were in on Fielder, offering 7 years with an opt-out after four, before Mike Ilitch came down and bought Prince Fielder’s dreams. No matter how the Dodgers camp spins it, I imagine this is how the conversation actually went down: Ned Colletti: Hey Prince, buddy, how are ya? We’d love to have you play in LA next year. Prince: Oh hey, man. LA...
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UPDATED: Alex Cora Retires
UPDATE: All of those words may be for naught! Jon Heyman just tweeted:
“Alex Cora plans to play. Just said he was retiring from winter ball, not MLB. Has coaching offers, but infield interest, too.”
So…I guess hold off on reading this until I re-post it when Alex Cora does retire.
Original: Sadly, that means Alex Cora will not play in 2012 as previously reported. Unless by...
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Transactions of Note and Import
Reds sign Jeff Francis to minor league deal. Shockingly, Francis only has had two seasons with an above league average ERA. Chalk that sad fact up to arm injuries and a southpaws journey. The team also dealt Jeremy Horst to the Phillies for Wilson Valdez.
Yoenis Cespedes is officially a free agent. Now that Prince Fielder has signed, teams can really go crazy.
Marlins sign Austin Kearns. The...
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Roy Oswalt Can Manipulate Time
At least, that’s the feeling I get after reading this from Ken Rosenthal:
“Oswalt, according to major-league sources, wants to pitch for either the Texas Rangers or St. Louis Cardinals, a stance first reported by MLB Network’s Peter Gammons.”
You could say those are his preferences because he wants to be closer to home or, more likely, it’s because he wants to pitch in...
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FanGraphs Audio
flipflopflyball:
I spent an extremely pleasant portion of my afternoon today talking to Carson Cistulli for the FanGraphs Audio podcast. You can here it by clicking the link that follows the colon:
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/fangraphs-audio-craig-robinson-of-flip-flop-fly-ball/
Yes.
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Baseball 2012
As one of our fellow bloggers is wont to say, it’s a long season. We get 162 games of sweet, sweet baseball even before the excitement of the playoffs, and as such, the narratives within the sport can shift and constantly take on new meanings. With the sheer amount of playing time and players involved, it’s easy to latch onto these stories and use them to shape a larger, more general...
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“I feel honored to be a part of it with the names out there. You look at our...”
– Freeze frame of Gio Gionzalez jumping in the air with Stephen Strasburg and Jordan Zimmerman, right fists caught halfway in triumphant pump.
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Marlins New Stadium May Finally Have Some People...
I mean, sure, they’d be homeless people, but the team has to start somewhere.
According to The Miami Herald, 23 years ago the state passed legislation that, if a stadium were to receive public funding and tax credits, on days when the stadium was not in use it was to be converted into a homeless shelter. That has obviously not been happening.
Said state representative Michael Bennett:
...
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The Best of the Costacos Bros Baseball Posters
After Sports Illustrated’s amazing retrospective on early 90s posters reminded me of the many that used to hang in my childhood bedroom, I had to go to eBay to see what else was out there. Turns out, plenty of others enjoy a good pun and bizarre, dated photo just as much as I do. Oddly enough, there is no Wikipedia entry for the Costacos Brothers, who essentially corned the market, or...
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Transactions of Note and Import
Yoenis Cespedes establishes Dominican residence. First thing Major Leagues team ask him to do? Stop playing Dominican baseball. Are we sure it wasn’t his agent, worried about all the strikeouts?
Astros hire BP writer Mike Fast. This is a great move for the Astros as Fast is one of the best at using hitFX and PitchFX to draw meaningful conclusions. This is not good for baseball fans who like...
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Moneyball Receives Oscar Nominations, Joe Morgan...
Who would have thought that Michael Lewis’ little book about people who preferred computers to the company of women would not only spawn a movie, but a movie that was up for an Oscar? Not only did the film snag a Best Picture nomination, but Brad Pitt is up for best actor, Jonah Hill is up for best supporting, along with best editing, best sound mixing, and best adapted screenplay. Come on,...
Anonymous asked: I am tottally aware the Prince Fielder thing was a joke. But he is actually a vegetarian. So maybe shut down more produce stands?
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Quotes from Prince Fielder's Future Press...
(via @SI_Vault)
It must suck to be Victor Martinez. Sure, having to be hobbled by a torn ACL is bad enough, but his ego was surely stroked when pundits wondered if the Tigers would be able to secure an AL Central without him. Then Dave Dombrowski had to go out and sign Prince Fielder to a 300-year, $4.2 billion dollar contract (estimated) and now Martinez is a mere afterthought, like “who...
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A New Kind of Crazing
Dr. S.B Talcott, superintendent of the State Lunatic Asylum in New York, in May 1892:
“I believe that baseball is a homeopathic cure for lunacy. It is a kind of craze in itself, and gives the lunatics a new kind of crazing to relieve them of the malady which afflicts their minds.”
Any one who has ever replied to Jon Heyman on Twitter knows this malady well.
(Source: The Baseball...
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Transactions of Note and Import
Orioles sign New Zealander Pita Rona. No player hailing from New Zealand has called the Majors his home, so here’s hoping Rona is the first. Even better, if he’s a defensive whiz, we can call him Pita Pocket.
O’s also pick up Wilson Betemit. For how successful Betemit is as a bench bat and injury replacement, it’s shocking that no one would give him a multi-year deal....
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Sightings of Omar Vizquel Through Time
(AP Photo)
Omar Vizquel just signed on to be the Blue Jays backup infielder for 2012. Some are shocked that Vizquel is still playing at 44. The truth of the matter is so much more shocking. For you see, Omar Vizquel is not just 44 years old and continuing to receive contracts for his slick glove and vaunted leadership, that’s merely the latest identity he’s using.
Let’s...