March 2012
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Luke Scott isn't fond of Red Sox fans
Earlier today, Luke Scott offered a rather blunt assessment of Red Sox fans:
“The fans come in and they take over the city. They’re ruthless. They’re vulgar. They cause trouble. They talk about your family. Swear at you. Who likes that? When people do that, it just gives you more incentive to beat them.”
Honestly, I’ve attended a good number of Red Sox games over...
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“It was a heavy bag, but it helped me more mentally Just walking and thinking. I...”
– In 2010, Shin-Soo Choo, in a series of events that should be made into a graphic novel, movie, and video game trilogy, led the South Korean baseball team to the ultimate victory in the Asian Games. By helping the team win the gold medal, Choo ensured that he would be able to stay on...
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Mike Stanton to Now Be Referred to As Giancarlo
Which makes a lot of sense. After all, it is his given name. And there was already a Mike Stanton of some repute in the Major Leagues. No need for all that confusion. And Stanton would be the only Giancarlo to ever make it to the Major Leagues which would be pretty cool. (Though the Mariners have a 16-year-old named Gianfranco Wawoe in their system which blows Giancarlo Stanton out of the water).
...
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We've Entered a Time Warp: Derek Jeter on Bobby...
Dear god, can baseball hurry the hell up and get here? Not only are writers running out of ways to say a player has shown up in good shape, now we’re discussing a lucky/rehearsed/great/stupid/miraculous play from 2001. 2001!
After Bobby Valentine said that Derek Jeter was out of position and it was not a practiced play, Jeter responded with this:
“What do I think? I don’t think...
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February 2012
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Bryce Harper Deletes His Twitter Account
Oh man. I was really hoping that he was going to post some scandalous late-night Twitpics so that I could slowly morph this site into a Perez Hilton-esque celebrity gossip site. Because isn’t that what the people want?
Said Harper on why he deleted the account, coincidentally after the Nationals held meetings to impress upon these youngsters the dangers of social media:
“I just...
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Brett Myers to Become a Closer Again
In a risky move of deck chair rearrangement, Jeff Luhnow and Brad Mills have decided that with the great Mark Melancon gone, they had no choice but to give Brett Myers the closer’s job.
Or, well, they didn’t have to, since that’s what Brandon Lyon is being paid $5.5 million to do. But after Myers posted a 4.46 ERA, good only for an 85 ERA+ in the new look Major Leagues, the...
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If You're Florida for Spring Training, Watch Out...
Because Trevor Goodby, the Pirates Florida Operations Director, just delivered a baby there. On taste-testing day.
(h/t Bucs Dugout)
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“I’m scared of the rally monkey. Out in the outfield, the monkey just pops...”
– Not quite “The Yankees are my Daddy,” but Matt Kemp should really not give the rally monkey and the accompanying Disturbed riff so much respect.
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Luke Scott Brings Two Seven-and-a-Half Foot Boar...
See, that looks like a joke headline, right? Because we all know Luke Scott is a little kookie, what with his belief that Barack Obama is a lying foreigner and that he used to carry a gun with him in the clubhouse. So, just like this joke post I made about Luke Scott hunting the Most Dangerous Game, it would make sense that I was foolin’ once again.
Sadly, I am not. Luke Scott actually...
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Ozzie Guillen Goes All Glengarry Glen Ross For The...
From the Palm Beach Post:
“I don’t care if you go there buck-naked with your pants (bleeping) down your ass, your hair down to your legs. Just win ganes. When you win games you look cool. When you lose games, you look dirty.
“Be on time and play the game right – that’s my rule. It should be that way. If you’re late, you better give me a good excuse…
“Your late for the (bleeping) National...
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Broadcaster Rankings: #30-21 →
Over at FanGraphs, Carson Cistulli has been doing some crowdsourcing to help rank the best and the worst of broadcasting teams in Major League Baseball. It’s a worthy task and one that will take on added importance as people fire up their MLB.tv accounts and try to figure out which broadcast to watch during a mid-March Rockies versus Diamondbacks contest.
The bottom of the list has all the...
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The 162 Pixels Kickstarter Project
Infographics are great. Not only do they impart tons of tedious information, but they manage to do it with pictures, colors, graphs, and all sorts of things that make facts easier to digest. It’s like feeding a dog his heartworm medication surrounded by a slice of turkey.
And now 162 pixels, a team of brothers like the Ripkens and the Gwynns, has entered the infographic fray. Twins fans...
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Transactions of Note and Import
Royals Sign Salvador Perez to Five-Year Extension. He’ll now be a Royal through 2019. Yes, he won’t hit .331 like he did in 128 at-bats last season, but he should be an all-around above average catcher. If the Royals are going to keep their window to win wider than a year or two, they’ll need to take risks like this to keep their good, young players in Kansas City.
Cardinals and...
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The Twins Will Not Ban Beer in the Clubhouse
(image via Doing Beer Justice)
Wanna drink your Bud Light Platinums (I shudder) or toss back a few craft brews? Then Minnesota may be the place for you. After the Red Sox banned beer in their clubhouse, Ron Gardenhire made it explicitly clear that as long the players behave themselves, the suds can be freely consumed in the Twins clubhouse.
From Rhett Bollinger:
The Twins do not plan to...
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Jason Varitek to Announce Retirement
The Red Sox are going to look mighty different next season. First the Knuckleball Champion of the Free World retired, and now the guy at the other end of those pitches, Jason Varitek, is hanging them up. Without JD Drew in the outfield next season, who the hell are Red Sox fans going to root for?
As Peter Abraham reports, Jason Varitek will be announcing his retirement this Thursday, ending a...
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The Solution to the Astros Uniform Problems
With a new owner, Jim Crane, in place, he’s looking to spice up the Astros. After a brief renaming misstep, like every cereal marketed to children, they’ve decided to focus on the packaging. With the Major League deadline for next year’s uniform coming up on May 1st, the Astros are looking to staff and fans for few suggestions.
So what’s the best way to shed the brick...
justamanandhisblog asked: Buck Showalter played an "inspirational" video for the Orioles featuring Ray Lewis in an O's hat and jersey. Obviously, the O's must now win their division. Will it be "inspiration" or a fear of disappointing Ray Lewis that drives them to succeed?
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Manny Ramirez and Those Pesky Steroids
Since we last saw Manny Ramirez pack up his bags and leave Major League Baseball after a second positive test for performance enhancing drugs, he has found God. Or claimed to find God. Maybe it’s legitimate, maybe it’s like a prisoner looking for early release. It’s not for me to say.
In an interview with Scott Miller of CBS Sports, Manny talks a lot about his new path with God...
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Daniel McCutchen and the Art of Long-Term Planning
Daniel McCutchen, the rare righthanded changeup specialist, wore number 34 last season. AJ Burnett also likes to wear #34. Rather than the standard number-for-Rolex deal, Daniel McCutchen thought long-term.
A.J. Burnett, who took McCutchen’s No. 34 jersey, will start a College America 529 plan for McCutchen’s daugher, McCutchen said. Not quite yet — the child has to be born...
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Things You May Have Missed While You Were Living...
While you were too busy watching celebrities tease each other, the baseball world continued on. What you may have missed:
Red Sox ban beer in the clubhouse. Looks like they’ll be switching to Hpnotiq in 2012.
Watch out ladies, Mini Yu Darvish has reported to camp.
Cardinals unveil 2011 World Series champions patch. It owes a lot to the 2011 World Series logo which, with it’s...
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Jerry Sands: Professional Baseballer and...
(Photo by Brendan C)
Like Tom Berenger in The Substitute, Jerry Sands also moonlights as a substitute teacher. Only difference is that Sands probably hasn’t infiltrated and taken down a local gang (but can we really be certain?). Unfortunately, his career as a Los Angeles Dodger is getting in the way of molding the minds of America’s youth.
From the LA Times:
“Jerry...
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The Assorted Food Tweets of Tommy Lasorda
I’d like to think that Tommy Lasorda and I would get along fairly well. While he’d probably find me a little soft and overemotional, what with my sobbing at the end of Homeward Bound II and all, we both love baseball. That’s a good start. Plus, we both love food. But even I don’t think I could keep up with Tommy. Below are the assorted food tweets by The Godfather of...
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Lady Gaga Goes Gaga For Moneyball
Alternate headlines I was kicking around:
Lady Gaga Thinks Moneyball is a Real Pearl of Film
No Need to Dress Up in Meat and Blood to Watch Moneyball
Gaga Was Born This Way. To Like Moneyball. She Was Born To Like Moneyball.
Lady Gaga Having Sick Love Tryst With A’s GM Billy Beane. Shocking Story Inside.
From V Magazine:
“I lay down on the airplane back from Japan, tossing...
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Tommy Lasorda's Spring Training Advice
(Photo by Paul Martinez)
Tommy Lasorda has a blog. Which is great. In that I’ll support anything Tommy Lasorda says or does. Today, though, Lasorda sat down to pen some spring training advice. One of his tips below:
“I would tell my players that if you want to be a number one team you have to think you are a number one team. If you think that then you’ll practice like a number...
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Joe Mauer and Tom Petty Have Two Things In Common
One is that they both wear hats at work. The other is that neither will back down.
Twins GM Terry Ryan on Mauer’s blocking of the plate next season:
There’s a certain way to take a guy out. There’s a certain way not to go after a guy. I think if you’re going to be a catcher, you have to be prepared to have a collision. It’s unfortunate what happened to Posey; no...
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Jose Canseco Does A Mean Tracy Morgan Impression
If you add “Liz Lemon” to the end of Jose Canseco’s tweets, he sounds exactly like Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock. Don’t believe me? Try it below:
As always, if you want to read more of Canseco’s stunning comedy routines, follow him on Twitter. Inspiration for the post courtesy of Funny or Die.
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ytiradilos asked: How can you possibly presume Braun isn't a steroids user based on the victory of his appeal? He won because the idiot in charge of transporting his urine left it in a fridge over the weekend, not because of any evidence that he wasn't doping. As far as I'm concerned, people have a totally legitimate reason to believe he is a steroids user; his test still had him at testosterone...
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Elijah Dukes Tries to Eat A Bag of Pot
And just like his baseball career, Dukes failed at it. From Tampa Bay Online:
When officers approached him, they saw flakes of marijuana on Dukes’ shirt, the report said. Dukes, 27, who played for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in 2007, was also trying to eat a small bag of pot, police said.
Dukes, of 5528 Liberty Plain Circle, Tampa, was charged with tampering with physical evidence,...
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Ryan Braun's A Free Man
Go on, Ryan, flee, run to Mexico and work on your boat and wear Affliction tees and drink all day because you’re free! But this is getting off track, the fact of the matter is that Ryan Braun’s PED test was overturned and the NL MVP’s name has been cleared. At least, it is if you believe in the way the justice system works. If you don’t, well, I’m not sure you will...
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I Can Only Dream of Being This Broke
From David Lennon of Newsday comes this image of the Mets brass hopping a helicopter to catch the Heat play in Miami:
Sign me up for whatever financial services the Mets are…oh…that’s right. Nevermind.
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Value Over Replacement Grit: March Moniker Madness... →
Diane over at VORG has taken the standard March Madness system, applied it to names, and has upped it by eight. That’s right, 512 of the funniest, silliest, and wackiest names are now squaring off for the March Madness Moniker challenge. Already the dirtiest name category has been posted and now the ones that the most fun to say are ready to be voted on.
So if you’d like to make a...
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Ron Gardenhire on Youth and Young Manhood
(Photo by Jon Dawson)
Ron Gardenhire is grizzled. And old school. And perhaps the baseball manager equivalent of Ron Swanson, mustache excluded. As such, he knows how to size up a man with just a glance. Steven Pearce may be that man. Said Gardy:
“He’s another stocky little guy getting after it pretty good out there today that we are going to take a look at. People were talking...