Hawk Harrelson and Steve Stone, Unsurprisingly, Hate Moneyball and Haven’t Read It

Part of me wants to view this CSN Chicago article as satire because the whole “I hate Moneyball because Billy Beane is Mark Twain, I’ll tell ya, and why would I want computers to play baseball because I like men playing baseball, the way God intended” shtick became a hilarious cultural meme thanks to the good folks at Fire Joe Morgan. But when it’s Hawk Harrelson who provides grating soundbites with a healthy dose of homerism, it’s only expected. While Steve Stone gets in on the action as well, he at least tempers his distaste in a palatable way.

When Harrelson was asked if he read the book he said:

“I wouldn’t waste the money,” Harrelson said. “I’ve heard some guys who’ve read it. I’ve talked to some guys who liked it, and I’ve talked to a majority of guys who thought it was a bunch of bull——, which if I read it, I’m sure that’s what I think it will be.”

I often like to remark on book’s that I’ve never read. Which is why I can say, unequivocally, that if I had written Moby Dick, it would have been better. And featured many more erotic sex scenes.

But Harrelson’s real gem comes later:

“When you start inundating players with numbers and information, you lose something,” Harrelson explained. “I think baseball has lost a lot of its childlike qualities, and it’s a kid’s game. You take Mark Buehrle, he has never lost his childlike qualities. That’s one reason he can go out there and throw an 86 miles-per-hour fastball and still compete and win. A lot of players have lost it. So if a lot of players lose it, the individual game loses it.”

I don’t even know where to begin with this. Is this a veiled Bull Durham reference? Or does Harrelson want actual children, somewhere between the ages of 8-12, to play baseball because they are pure and untouched by knowledge? And when Harrelson says that Mark Buehrle is childlike, does he mean that it’s because some children can throw harder than him? Or that Mark Buehrle isn’t bothered by things like mortgages and 401Ks? I’d really like to know because Harrelson’s thought process confuses me.

While there are legitimate complaints regarding Moneyball, like how the pitching staff’s contributions are unfairly discounted, it’s important to remember that Beane’s style has been co-opted by nearly every other Major League team to some extent and that is largely responsible for why the Athletics now have trouble competing.

We exist in a world where there is a happy marriage between numbers and scouting but Harrelson and Stone seem content to live in 2003.