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Philosophize This!

Ryan Lavarnway was a philosophy major at Yale. Which means that despite hitting the first two home runs of his career, keeping the Red Sox tied atop the AL Wild Card, he probably had a sleepless night as he tossed and turned, questioning if the bombs were categorical imperatives or not.* 

(AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

In Peter Abraham’s game recap, he gushes over Ryan Lavarnway’s intelligence and ability to make eye contact (good skills to have, for sure), as he attempts to begin a career as good as the last hitter/philosopher, Ben Oglivie. Oglivie finished his career with 235 home runs and a 118 OPS+, though struggled in parts of three seasons with the Red Sox, hitting .235/.282/.368. 

With an excuse to write about Ben Oglivie, here is his spotlight from the June 8, 1981 issue of Sports Illustrated. Steve Wulf writes:

“Three of Ben Oglivie’s favorite philosophers are Jean Jacques Rousseau, Henry David Thoreau and Bruce Lee. Their minds are not often linked to a common school of thought. But then, nothing is common about Ben Oglivie, not even the spelling of his last name. Oglivie is a Milwaukee Brewers outfielder who is accomplished not only in philosophy, but also in music, Jeet Kune Do, Ping-Pong and crossword puzzles.”

While Lavarnway may share an academic background with Oglivie, he will have to work extremely hard to keep up with Oglivie in terms of entertainment value. Later in the article: 

Oglivie doesn’t always read books; he often talks them. “I’ll take a book and read it aloud into a tape recorder,” he says. “I still have a little trouble reading English, and I find I retain things better. Sometimes it’ll take me a year to read a book, because I want to be sure I understand everything.” When Oglivie played his tapes for the Tigers, Mark Fidrych, the very model of sanity, thought he was weird. Actually, Oglivie is a little weird. Last year in Baltimore, he left the water running in the bathtub of his hotel room while he went to the ball park. When informed that the ceiling below his bathroom had collapsed, Oglivie said, “Did I do that?”

Hopefully someone has the contact information for William Bickley and Michael Warren, the creators of Family Matters, as it is imperative that we ask them if Oglivie unwittingly paved the way for the early 90s greatest catchphrase.

Of course, Lavarnway’s home runs will be forgotten if the Red Sox fail to advance to the playoffs, and so for his sake and sense of self-worth, Lavarnway had better hope the season doesn’t end tomorrow. 

*Knowing nothing beyond my freshman “Intro to the World of Philosophy” class, I also wonder this.

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