Old Time Family Baseball

Yes, in just a few short minutes, the live blog for Rhubarb, the movie about a cat who owns a baseball team will begin. If you have a copy of the movie and are awake for some ungodly reason, join in. This post, like The Man from Left Field, will be nested so keep refreshing for updates.

This movie is also included in the raffle, so if you haven’t donated and want to own it, please donate now.

2:35: Hey, that guy from I Love Lucy is in this. I think. Old white men in old black and white movies all look the same. 

And there is an argument that this cat, who steals golf balls off the putting green, “thumbs his nose at 200 million.”

2:37: “Our team lacks only one thing: Scrappers! Like that cat.” Rhubarb is apparently the David Eckstein story. (Sorry, that joke is old, but I am tired.)

2:42: “Golf balls are this cat’s meat. A sentence I would have said had never been uttered if you asked me yesterday.

2:44: How I imagine all baseball owners look in their office:

2:45: The most deadly of attack positions: the cat chandelier.

2:47: “I’m fed up with you, your carrots, and your muscles! Now get out of here.” Seriously, I have this argument with my girlfriend, like, everyday.

2:50: Before the internet, people had to have anniversary cakes to get a good cat photo.

2:53: The cat gets everything? Boy, things were simpler back in the olden days.

2:57: “This will is too strong, you’ll never break it. No judge will ever say that man was not in possession of his faculties after leaving $30 million and a baseball team to a cat.” I’m not sure how much of that is the real quote.

2:59: Newspaper sales wouldn’t be in such a free fall if this was a more common cover:

3:01: Wondering what a “Rhubarb” is? Well, apparently it’s a big beef, a brannigan, or what happens when two women fight over the same dress at a bargain basement. No, that doesn’t help me either.

3:09: Some of these ballplayers look like they’ve never pet an animal or went in the sun before.

3:13: This is an 80 grade mustache.

He also offered “some pills” when Polly asked what to do about her fiance. 

3:18: I’ve never seen a more ridiculous product integration than the one that just happened for the Friendly Finance Company. It literally interrupted the game.

3:20: Rhubarb runs onto the field, knocks the fielders over, has a chase with St. Louis’ dog and leads to an argument over whether a cat is a man and if the fact that the cat owns the team changes anything. These are important life conversations.

 3:28 Cat matchmaking.

3:33: If this is what court is like, count me in.

3:35: With Mr. Yaeger unable to properly identify the cat, he has 48 hours to provide evidence that Rhubarb is the rightful heir. Boy, this movie got complex in a hurry, huh. 

3:37: And Polly, who was just cured of her allergy to cats, remains allergic to Rhubarb! Another wrinkle to the plot.

3:38: “Can you please stroke and fondle exhibits A, B, and C.” This movie just took a strange turn.

3:41: The Brooklyn Loons, now the Brooklyn Rhubarbs, are headed to the Series thanks to that cat. The montages in this movie are also terrifying.

3:48: Gasp, the New York-supporting bookies just stole Rhubarb. The Brooklyn 9 are ruined.

3:50: After kidnapping Rhubarb, Pencil Louie goes to Myra to make her pay for the cat’s murder. I wonder how Louie got the name pencil—I wonder if it’s for his penchant for taking number twos.

4:03: After finding Rhubarb holed up in a local hotel with a sleazebag, now there is a car chase.

4:04: But oh no, Rhubarb got away again. It’s alright though, your taxpayer dollars are at work as the entire police department has an APB out on Rhubarb, hoping to find him before the end of the Series.

4:06: And the Brooklyn Rhubarbs win the Series, putting up a six spot in the bottom of the ninth once Rhubarb returned to the club.

4:08: Taking full advantage of the situation, Rhubarb has given birth to a litter of kittens from three different wives, the cad.

Final Verdict: The fact that this movie was played for laughs and that it was so late made it more difficult than The Man From Left Field to live blog. After all, how can I make jokes when the movie itself is doing it?

Still, if you’re in the mood for a movie about a cat owning some sort of organization, I can’t imagine you really have any other option than Rhubarb.

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