The Dodgers Were Reportedly In on Fielder

According to Jon Heyman, the Dodgers were in on Fielder, offering 7 years with an opt-out after four, before Mike Ilitch came down and bought Prince Fielder’s dreams. No matter how the Dodgers camp spins it, I imagine this is how the conversation actually went down:

Ned Colletti: Hey Prince, buddy, how are ya? We’d love to have you play in LA next year.

Prince: Oh hey, man. LA sounds great. What ya offering?

Colletti: Plenty of sun.

Prince:

Colletti:

Prince: That’s it?

Colletti: Tons of babes…

Prince: Seriously, what kind of money we looking at?

Coletti: Money? Didn’t know you were so superficial. Dynamite health care, though.

Prince: Uh huh.

Colletti: And, uhh, (looking around office), a computer and some photographs of my family.

Prince: Sorry, Ned. Gotta pass.

Colletti: Wait, don’t hang up! We’ll get you in the pictures, you’ll be a star.

Line goes dead.

Colletti: (yelling down the hall) Somebody get James Loney on the phone and tell him to put on 50 pounds and grow a beard. Nobody will know the difference, damn it.