The Escalating Madness of the CJ Wilson and Mike Napoli Prank War

After Mike Napoli claimed that he was looking forward to hitting a few dingers off of CJ Wilson this season, Wilson retaliated by posting Napoli’s phone number on Twitter. While some may think the prank was funny, others found it mean-spirited, possibly even in violation of the league’s social media policy. Mike Napoli, for one, did not enjoy it, saying:

“I don’t even know why he did it. You don’t do that. I am not taking it as a prank. You know, I haven’t even talked to him since the end of last season. We don’t have that type of relationship.”

However, as any one who has ever engaged in a prank war knows, it can never end with mere words. No, Mike Napoli will strike back. Where? When? Who knows.

After consulting with many a military strategist, below features the future escalation of the Wilson-Napoli prank war:

Mike Napoli tweets CJ Wilson’s home address.
Wilson makes copies of Napoli’s house keys, giving them away to the first 1,000 people at the ballpark.
Napoli spikes the straight edge Wilson’s drink with alcohol.
Wilson spikes Napoli’s drink with roofies.
Napoli spikes Wilson’s drink with a non-lethal poison.
Wilson releases of a pit of venomous snakes in Napoli’s bed.
Napoli hires a crew to fake a break-in at Wilson’s home. One man is shot, non-critically.
Wilson takes out bank loans in Napoli’s name, never paying them and ruining Napoli’s credit.
Napoli cuts Wilson’s brake lines. Wilson is injured.
Wilson sets fire to Napoli’s bedroom. Napoli dies.
Napoli haunts Wilson, driving him to suicide.
They become best friends in heaven.