If I Were a Toronto Blue Jay

Thanks to my local dollar store, I now have conclusive proof of what my life would be like if I were a Toronto Blue Jay.

After finding the absolute worst picture of myself available, I quickly pasted it in the back in this highly customizable tome. Won’t you follow me through the ups and downs of Major League life?

It’s early in the story and already the sabermetric crowd is pissed off. Yeah, the bunt lead to a run, but by surrendering an out the Red Sox have lessened their chance of a big inning. Will this come back to haunt them? (Note the heavy foreshadowing.)

I have the strangest feeling that my teammates are not nearly as confident in my abilities as my wise old sage of a manager.

Hey! Look at that! My first career Major League home run. Besides the somewhat predictable outcome (couldn’t the author have had me send a sharp liner down the right field line?), this just proves how “clutch,” I am. I’m a young Jeff Francouer, I tell you!