The Greatest Names of the 2012 Draft

Why wait the requisite five years or read boooooooring scouting reports when you can determine this year’s winners and losers based solely on the strength of the name? We live in a fast paced world and we gotta keep up dammit. 

First number is round, second number is pick. 

Heavyweights Division: 

1st, #7: Max Fried, Padres

3rd, #111: Brett Mooneyham, Nationals

12th, #390: Max Foody, Cardinals

21st, #654: Austin Chubb, Nationals

28th, #863: Joshua Pigg, Indians 

80s Action Stars:

1st, #26: Stryker Trahan, Diamondbacks

8th, #252: Torsten Boss, Orioles

9th, #281: Jamodrick McGruder, Mariners

14th, #440: Chris Flexen, Mets

23rd, #706: Lance Breedlove, Pirates

25th, #771: Storm Throne, White Sox

27th, #827: Goose Kallunki, Padres

26th, #816: Austen Thrailkill, Rangers

36th, #1094: Sly Edwards, Cubs

Space Heroes:

4th, #151: Ty Buttrey, Red Sox (I assume that’s pronounced Butt-ray.) 

5th, #165: Mallex Smith, Padres

11th, #343: Zebulon Sneed, Royals

12th, #378: Correlle Prime, Rockies

26th, #804: Skye Bolt, Nationals

37th, #1148: Daniel Starwalt, Phillies

Childish Giggles:

9th, #286: DJ Crumlich, Pirates

20th, #622: BrockDykxhoorn, Reds

29th, #897: John Bushyhead, Angels

Sounds Like Things That Happen In Baseball:

23rd, #718: Andrew Leenhouts, Giants

19th Century Lords:

13th, #404: Bijan Rademacher, Cubs

13th, #423: Phildrick Llewellyn, Diamondbacks (Phildrick?)

15th, #461: Dario Pizzano, Mariners

15th, #476: Dalton Von Schamann, Dodgers

33rd, #1027: Saxon Butler, Yankees

34th, #1048: Zachariah Edginton, Giants

37th, #1158: Dansby Swanson, Rockies

I’m Already Bored:

30th, #918: Trent Blank, Rockies

32nd, #979: Ryan Dull, Athletics

Just Fun To Say: 

1st, #2: Byron Buxton, Twins

3rd, #:103: Jonathan Sandfort, Pirates

Sup, #55: Walker Weichl, Padres

8th, #257: Drew Steckenrider, Marlins

15th, #477: Reid Scoggins, Angels

27th, #837: Wade Hinkle, Angels

31st, #941: Rusty Shellhorn, Mariners

37th, #1126: Jacob Waguespack, Pirates

Like a Character In Brighton Beach Memoirs:

2nd, #75: Teddy Stankiewicz, Mets

Great Home Run Calls:

5th, #174: Spencer Kieboom, Nationals

22nd, #687: Anthony Bemboom, Angels

38th, #1172: Chad Nacapoy, Rays

The Grittiest Angel: 

39th, #1197: Justin Morhardt, Angels


11th, #345: Maxx Tissenbaum, Padres

24th, #739: Kayvon Bahramzadeh, Athletics

37th, #1132: Zachary Vincej, Reds

37th, #1141: Jonathan Dziedzic, Red Sox

Ominous Portents:

16th, #490: Will Hurt, Twins

38th, #1163: Joshua Nervis, Indians

Prodigious Portents:

36th, #1116: Sterling Wynn, Rangers

Basketball Stars:

18th, #571: Shaq Green-Thompson, Red Sox

Double Vision:

27th, #848: Fernando Fernandez-Beltran, Phillies
34th, #1057: Eric Erickson, Yankees 

Baseball Royalty:

20th, #618, Ryan Ripken, Orioles

30th, #911: Michael Yastrzemski, Mariners

Famous Explorers:

38th, #1162: Daniel Poncedeleon, Reds

A special thanks to @mighty_flynn and @patricktruby whose Twitter conversations were filled with fantastic names these last three days. And check out Value Over Replacement Grit for more name goodness. 

  1. drsirkin reblogged this from oldtimefamilybaseball
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    Fine work, parents.
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  13. allsineed reblogged this from oldtimefamilybaseball and added:
    This is hilarious EVEN IF YOU DON’T LIKE SPORTS.
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  18. giantsmisfit reblogged this from oldtimefamilybaseball and added:
    made me giggle, haha how...hell did their parents pick
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