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Gio Gonzalez’s Dating Requirements

Yesterday, like all modern gentlemen, Gio Gonzalez took to Twitter to find a date: 

In addition, he has these rules which were specified in the fine print: 

  • Must be a bio-organic creature. 
  • Prefer someone with 10 fingers, but minimum is 8.
  • Must be experienced with Microsoft Access. 
  • Blue eyes or like, those mixed cat eye things, ya know? What are those called?
  • D/D free. 
  • But D&D experienced would be great. I am Warlocke the Proud. 
  • Have three years of experience dating people through Twitter. 
  • Must enjoy the work of Kierkegaard, but not be a fanatic about it. 
  • Offer valid only for continental United States and Puerto Rico.
  • Serious inquiries only. 

(h/t Getting Blanked) 

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    I don’t have blue eyes or those mixed cat eye things. :CCCCCforever
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