Roger Clemens Free, Court System to Be Forever Changed

The court proceedings that were known as “the trial of the millenium” and “a thing that happened,” finally ended today with people on each side crying out in pain, heartache, and euphoria. After nearly two months of courtroom “things” (I believe that’s the legal term), Roger Clemens has been acquitted of perjury stemming from his denial that he used steroids in 2008. Perhaps now the nation’s children can go to sleep without fear. 

Also, check out this haircut: 

That’s the only real crime that took place. 

(Photo by Manuel Balce Ceneta, AP) 

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