That Time Booster Gold Stumbled Onto A Dimensional Gate At The Metrodome

In 1987, the original corporate hero, Booster Gold, went looking for his sister and ended up stumbling upon some aliens holed up in a B&B. After a brief fight, Booster Gold finds something curious on the smoking body (other than that outrageous pink body suit): baseball tickets.

Since there’s no way an alien would spend the weekend at both a bed and breakfast and a day at the ballpark, Booster and his trusty robotic sidekick, Skeets, fly off to the Metrodrome, certain that there is a gateway to Dimension X. Which is also the laziest possible name for another dimension.

Using his all-important stance as a public superhero, Booster makes sure to comment on the hideousness of indoor baseball. Sadly, because of space issues, Booster’s ten page monologue on the horrors of the baggie were cut from the final product.

After punching through the walls of the stadium, Booster Gold finds the portal and crosses, learning that he has two choices: save his sister or protect Twins fans from certain death:

With Kent Hrbek, Dan Gladden, Bert Blyleven, and Joe Niekro on those ‘87 Twins, Booster’s decision is easy. Obviously, he must save the Twins.

And that’s why we have Target Field today.

Sadly, after tearing the roof off the stadium, the action moves away from the ball field. If you’re absolutely dying to know how this ends, there is a lot of punching, some more people show up and do some punching, someone dies, and the Metrodome is never mentioned again. As it should be.

So the next time you’re wandering around a deserted baseball stadium and you see something strange, please leave it alone. Chances are its an interdimensional gateway to some universe that wants to destroy our domed stadiums. Which, on second thought, is a pretty noble deed.

(All images from Booster Gold #21-22)

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And with that, it’s the perfect time to announce that this blog will be silent for the next few days as I head to Minneapolis to hobnob with baseball folk at SABR 42. I’ll be taking in a Twins game, imbibing some adult beverages with great baseball people, and taking in research presentations and discussions. If you’re also going to be there, let me know (email/Twitter) and we can meet up, watch “Knuckleball” together, and joycry about RA Dickey.