Things You May Have Missed While You Were Living Your Life

While you were busy having a barbecue with extended family members, acquaintances, and that one guy you once met at that thing, baseball stuff still happened. Oh, how it happened. What you may have missed:

The trade deadline may have been last week, but screw it, teams don’t even care any more. Danny Valencia is now a Red Sox, the Cubs finally dealt Jeff Baker, this time to the Tigers, and the Nationals picked up Kurt Suzuki. It’s like CostCo on a Saturday afternoon.

Craig Kimbrel is crazy good. Like a 50/1 K/BB ratio in the last 28 innings good.

An in-depth expose on Civil War-rules baseball. Expose may be the wrong word. But I doubt anyone will do an expose on my use of expose. Also, I can’t be bothered to figure out the write alt+number to get the accent mark. Sue me.

Royals DFA Yuniesky Betancourt, Tigers bid farewell to Don Kelly. Life is a series of checks and balances. For all that’s good, equal bad must occur.

On Friday, I wrote about Josh Hamilton’s mystery problem. Well, call up Scoob and the gang, as they’re no longer needed. Turns out, it was chewing tobacco. We can all resume our lives. Also, massive points to LeeLeeLeeLee for calling it.

Marty Brennaman raises $50,000 by shaving his head after Reds won 10 games in a row. How come premature balding never does that much good?

Both Upton brothers hit their 100th home run on the same night. The closest me and my sister came to something like that was when we both got the same happy meal toy.

If you love mediocre baseball players, you’ll really love Great Moments in Forgettable Careers, Part II.