Ryan Dempster Really Wanted to Move to LA
So we all know that Ryan Dempster wanted to play in Los Angeles. And like a spoiled child, eventually his caregivers “You want to play in LA so bad? Fine, call them yourself.” So he did. For real.
Here is those transcripts.
——————
Ryan Dempster sits in Jed Hoyer’s office. He dials the phone.
Colletti: Hello?
Dempster: Ned! Neddy! Neddy boy! Neddy Ice. Get it? Like Natty Ice?
Colletti: I’m sorry, we don’t need that.
Colletti hangs up.
Dempster re-dials.
Colletti: Hello, this is the Dodgers.
Dempster: Ned, this is Ryan Dempster.
Colletti: Ryan Dempster?
Dempster: The baseball player.
Colletti looks through his 2002 Sporting News Register.
Colletti: Dempster, Dempster. Oh, Dempster! How’s Florida treating you these days?
Dempster: I don’t play in Florida anymore.
Colletti: Aww, that’s a shame. Well, good luck getting back there. Florida’s lovely this time of year. Taking the kids to Disney soon. Have a good one.
Colletti hangs up.
Dempster re-dials.
Colletti: Wazzzupp?
Dempster: Hello?
Colletti: Hello?
Dempster: Hello?
Colletti: Hello?
Dempster: Who is this?
Colletti: Who is this?
Dempster: I asked first.
Silence.
Colletti: Bye-bye, now.
Colletti hangs up.
Dempster re-dials.
Colletti: Hello?
Dempster: Listen up, you clown. I want to be traded to you. What’s it going to take?
Colletti: Hello? Are you there? Speak up.
Dempster: I said, I’m going to be traded to the Dodgers whether you like it or—
Automated Voice: Please leave a message after the tone. BEEEEEEEP.
Dempster hangs up.
Accepts trade to the Rangers.
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Daily news, recaps, and ridiculous pictures from across the baseball world. Extra focus on stirrup socks, squeeze bunts, mustaches and old baseball cards. In other words, your exact interests.
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