Orioles Race Blue Crabs to Determine Fantasy Draft
Look up. Is that headline? Is it really? What am I writing? Am I having a stroke at my keyboard? Do words no longer have any meaning?
This is all I know: when Jim Johnson and Darren O’Day were trying to figure out the drafting order for the team’s fantasy football draft, they decided crabs were the only way to fairly choose. Said O’Day:
“Jim and I were trying to think of something creative because everybody just does the blind draw,“And we wanted to do something big. We were going to do snails, but crabs just seemed better to us. It seemed more apropos. It was more exciting than any other draft order.”
And for those that need to know, not only did Chris Davis’ crab win the race, but the team also enjoyed fresh crab dip afterwards. I can’t imagine the crabs enjoyed that.
*I would also like to point out that I spent fifteen minutes trying to craft some sort of joke about crabs telling ‘blue’ jokes. I wish I could claim that I was on mood-altering medication. I am, as far as I know, not.