Your Quick Roundup of the Day That Was

Of course, of course on the day that I’m swamped and can’t keep up with baseball news, a frenzy of hilarious, strange, and downright wonderful activity occurs. It’s further proof of the lesson my parents taught me when I was very young: “Life’s unfair. Then you die. You will also miss a lot of super awesome baseball stuff before you die.”

So, as I continue to wage war against a sea of activity that keep me away from my one true love, the internet, a brief rundown of the day that was.

The A’s turn the rare and beautiful 5-4-3 triple play against the Twins. I can’t wait to see this show up in Moneyball 2: Electric Boogaloo. The team also acquired Stephen Drew for minor leaguer Sean Jamieson. While neither one is hitting now, Drew at least has hit in the Major Leagues. If he returns to form, well, gee, go Billy Beane.

The Giants were due to receive 20,000 Melky Cabrera tee-shirts on September 8th. They are now Angel Pagan tee-shirts. I really hope it’s a new design and not Melky Cabrera with his head replaced or an MS Paint beard added. Actually, scratch that because it would be totally awesome.

There is both a bobblebaby and a three-headed bobble monster. Things that bobble are the best.

Felix Hernandez promises to stay in Seattle. The problem with promises? They’re pretty easy to break when hundreds of millions of dollars and/or exciting prospect packages are dangled your way. He also made his first start since his perfect game and the stadium looked beautiful.

Roger Clemens threw a bullpen session. A few people think the Astros should pick him up. Considering that Clemens is roughly 110 years old and hasn’t pitched in years and has some nasty court cases behind him, that says more about the state of the Astros than it does about Clemens’ abilities.

Jeff Kent will be on Survivor. Did you hear that? Jeff Kent will be on Survivor.

Michael Pineda arrested for DUI. My every-few-weeks screed: ballplayers, please take taxi cabs or sleep in the pub owner’s spare bedroom. Thank you.

Billy Hamilton breaks the minor league steals record held by Vince Coleman by swiping his 146th bag. I tell ya, the baselines are juiced. Juiced, do you hear me?