Throw Out All The Rules
You may have heard, but with the one-game wild card playoff, baseball teams don’t need to staff a roster the way they normally do. In fact, they don’t need to field a roster the way any time has ever fielded a roster in the history of the sport. Says Buster Olney:
“The wild-card games will be conducted under circumstances we’ve never seen before in the postseason. The participating teams will set 25-man rosters for this one-game, winner-take-all extravaganza — rosters that don’t have to carry over to the Division series matchup. So the Braves and the other wild-card entrants don’t have to carry multiple starting pitchers.”
Teams, if they so choose, can activate a single starting pitcher and have 10 hard-throwing relievers sitting in the bullpen and a bevy of pinch-hitters at the ready. It’s not real baseball, hell, it’s barely beer league softball.
That said, here’s a number of other rule changes you may not be aware of:
- Amazon gift cards for the first ten batters to come to the plate.
- Home team will be “shirts” and away team will be “skins”
- One lucky fan will throw out the first pitch of the game. Not the ceremonial first pitch, the actual first pitch.
- Batters can use aluminum bats. To compensate, fielders will be on trampolines.
- The roster will consist of 25 men. There is no limit on the number of horses, apes, or meerkats permitted to play, however.
- Bud Selig gets to play one inning on the team of his choosing at the position of his choosing.
- Scoring will be done like in golf. Least amount of runs win.
- There will be a brief break during the seventh inning when the two teams will come together and hold a seance in hopes of raising the dead.
- Should they be successful and the ghosts are friendly, they will be invited to play. Should they be vengeful, the game will be called and may god have mercy on your soul.
- Runners will run the bases backwards.
- They’ll actually decide the winner in a game of flag football.
It may not be baseball, but the ratings will be stellar. And in the end, isn’t that all that really matters?