The Many Faces of Jack Wilson
Jumpin’ Jack Wilson retired earlier today. As an unabashed lover of defense and utility, two things Americans claim to love, my heart was broken when he decided to quit after hitting .169 in 77 at-bats for the Braves. He may have only posted two seasons with an OPS above .700 and his glove was cruelly denied a Golden recognition, but damn, did he have some infield moves that rivaled anyone’s.
That said, he was also a weird looking dude and we’ll honor him with The Many Faces of Jack Wilson.
Jack Wilson had great buns.
And a smile that would seduce you.
Still, there’s a reason why Jack in The Box decided to use a giant white orb as their mascot and not Jack Wilson.
Perhaps it was because of his Fearful Symmetry. (By SwisherThresher at Athletics Nation)
Jack Wilson tried really, really, really hard. (Image by Peter Diana/Post-Gazette)
So it makes sense that I would use Jack Wilson to motivate myself. It worked about as well as Wilson hit.
Jack Wilson sometimes got shampoo in his eyes and thought he was blind.
Which is really the only excuse for this goatee.
Have a happy retirement, Jack. Hopefully I’ll run into you at the grocery store and we can talk about Rob Mackowiak.