The Platoon Advantage: Bobby Valentine's Cover Letter →

Today likely marks the final day of Bobby Valentine’s employment. Fortunately, he’s prepared to enter the highly competitive job market with a freshly prepared cover letter. It’s up over at The Platoon Advantage: 

“To Whom It May Concern:

I am an outspoken, hardworking individual ready to hit the ground running and elevate your company to a higher level. It is a new era, one with thousands of new strategic paradigms, paradigms that I can bring to your company. I am a proven leader, innovator, and entrepreneur with a history of performance under pressure. Don’t believe me? Then I’ll punch you in the face. Ha ha. I’m kidding. :p

As a project manager, I have succeeded all over the globe, something that’s very important in this 24/7 world economy that we live in. I am an expert evaluator of talent and a great manager of personalities, so you may as well call me Mr. Manager! (Though I do respectfully ask that you do not contact my current employers. They’re real fartbags.)”

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