Actually, that’s a lie. A terrible, terrible baldfaced lie. Because in baseball, there can’t be winners without there being losers. It’s something that the Rangers are currently sweating over (down 8-5 in the top of the 8th against the A’s). So maybe, “early afternoon” was the appropriate nomenclature.
Between the Braves and the Pirates, with the Buccaneers already guaranteed a 20th consecutive losing season, Ben Sheets went out with the final start of his career, striking out two batters in one inning before giving way to seven relievers to go the rest of the way. For anyone who thought that Fredi Gonzalez would not turn his roster into a free-for-all for the Wild Card game, well, I think you have your answer.
Craig Kimbrel was one of the relievers to see some time, striking out three more batters and giving him 116 out of the 231 men he faced this year He is the first player in Major League history to strike out over 50% of the batters he faced and he did it while keeping an ERA of 1.01. What a no-talent hack, huh.
Most heart warming though was Chipper Jones, pinch-hitting in the 6h, hit a single and came around to score in his final regular season at-bat. Chipper Jones will finish his career with 2,726 hits, 468 HR, an OPS that never dipped below .800, and a son named Shea who will never be welcome in Flushing.
Meanwhile, the Pirates were shutout, so whoever made this wonderful video will need to update it.
Meanwhile, in Washington, the Nationals wrapped up the top seed in the National League, but no one really cares about that. No, instead, here comes good ole Teddy Roosevelt, breaking his endless losing streak thanks to a little help from the Phillies green mozzarella stick. I think.
Just look at that breakaway speed:
Baseball season may be over in a handful of hours, but at least we’re going out on a high note.