Things You May Have Missed While You Were Living Your Life

While you were attempting to go without food for an entire weekend in preparation for this Thursday, baseball things still happened. Here are some of those things:

Melky Cabrera signs with Blue Jays for 2 years, $16 million. The Blue Jays plan? Acquire every player in baseball, winning 162 games on forfeit.

The Marlins sign Juan Pierre. Fire sale? Who said anything about a fire sale?

Baseball’s very first trade took place 126 years ago this past week. What other sport can make claim to a history like that? Give that another point to baseball’s arch supremacy over all other sporting endeavors.

Cubs sign Dioner Navarro. If only Navarro was a better and/or more entertaining player. Then I would open up a doner kebob restaurant called Dioner Kebob. It sells itself, really.

90 Feet of Perfection is always loaded with the most wonderful of photographs. This one is no different, all hail Bill Murray, home run king:

The Braves sign Gerald Laird. I’ve used this story before and I’ll continue using it every time Laird’s name comes up. He used to wear the number 15 to signify “1 man, 5 tools.” I love Gerald Laird. Maybe I’ll open up a doner kebob ‘rant in his name.

The Cardinals have a new third jersey. Because the Cardinals realize that their uniforms are the most beautiful things on the face of the planet, they didn’t make it orange or black or add in EXXXTREME ELEMENTS. Instead, they made it off-white (or eggshell, if you prefer) and changed Cardinals to St. Louis. I love it. Makes me think of Christmas.

In more uniform news, the Reading Phillies have become the Reading Fightin Phils. Personally, I love it. The old timey name, the bizarre ostrich mascot that is based on their hot dog vendor, the road baseball cap that has a hot dog on it. I would never want the Major Leagues to adopt these uniform habits, but the minors are like their weird cousin. Things should get weird down there.

Padres acquire Tyson Ross. The Padres also snagged the fantastically named AJ Kirby-Jones giving up super utility guy Andy Parrino and Andrew Werner.

And what you may have missed on this very own baseball blog (or bluug if you’re in an IKEA) was the Marlins new marketing slogan and the discovery of how an offseason rumor is born.