My conversation with an investment professional: 
ME: Hi, I was wondering if I could ask you some investment advice.
Investment Professional: Are you looking to open an account? 
ME: Sure, whatever, I don’t really care. Listen, I have about $400. Liquid. Cash. Gold. 
IP: You’re not really making any sense. 
ME: Yeah, okay, I hear ya. You’re a busy guy, I’m a busy guy. Lotta money to make in the ole stock market. 
IP: Do you have a question? 
ME: Yeah, as I was saying, I have $400 right now. Should I buy an original painting of Matt Stairs? 
IP: I don’t—you mean, the baseball player?
ME: Yeah, dummy. The baseball player. Or should I say, the guy with the most pinch hit home runs for a career. 
IP: Sir, I’m going to hang up now. 
ME: That’s a good idea. 
———
Personally, I still think this baby is going to appreciate in value. And should the artist, Robert Myers, release a print, or someone wants to lend me a few hundred bucks, this will hang on my walls. And I’ll finally be happy. 
(h/t Baseball Nation) 

My conversation with an investment professional: 

ME: Hi, I was wondering if I could ask you some investment advice.

Investment Professional: Are you looking to open an account? 

ME: Sure, whatever, I don’t really care. Listen, I have about $400. Liquid. Cash. Gold. 

IP: You’re not really making any sense. 

ME: Yeah, okay, I hear ya. You’re a busy guy, I’m a busy guy. Lotta money to make in the ole stock market. 

IP: Do you have a question? 

ME: Yeah, as I was saying, I have $400 right now. Should I buy an original painting of Matt Stairs? 

IP: I don’t—you mean, the baseball player?

ME: Yeah, dummy. The baseball player. Or should I say, the guy with the most pinch hit home runs for a career. 

IP: Sir, I’m going to hang up now. 

ME: That’s a good idea. 

———

Personally, I still think this baby is going to appreciate in value. And should the artist, Robert Myers, release a print, or someone wants to lend me a few hundred bucks, this will hang on my walls. And I’ll finally be happy. 

(h/t Baseball Nation

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