Bobby Valentine: 47 Messages that Light a Fire in Your Soul
A couple of weeks ago, I posted a picture of one of Mike’s Christmas gifts to me, the majestically titled Bobby Valentine: 47 Messages that Light a Fire in Your Soul. The book is written in Japanese, and perhaps because of never my having managed the Chiba Lotte Marines, the books is unreadable to me. However, after further inspection, I found that there are 47 rough translations to go with each one. Throughout an incredibly scientific and tightly controlled process, I reviewed the messages with an eye towards providing Old Time Family Baseball readers with the choice aphorisms. Of course, I’m unable to read the supporting paragraphs context for each one of these. Of course, that won’t stop me from trying to explain them.
3. The most important thing is “guts.”
- Guts are incredibly important. Without them, human hearts would lack the fuel necessary for beating, and human brains would be unable to develop the special area that allows us to see the little half-man, half-goat that comes each night to dance under the pale moonlight with us. Guts are also important in the game of baseball. You hardly ever hear that a player “spilled his guts,” and with good reason: guts are directly associated with pitch recognition, the ability to get on base, and the number of hot dogs a player can secretly eat while in the dugout.
15. There is no such thing as “Bobby Magic.” Everyone made an effort together to make a dream come true. It’s as simple as that.
- Bobby Magic was outlawed throughout Europe in the 16th Century and was mainly practiced by underground cults. This is what Bobby V. doesn’t want you to know. While once a powerful sorcerer sated with the recondite knowledge necessary for harnessing the powers of Bobby Magic, the man’s grip on the mysterious force has weakened with his old age. As a result, he often resorted to drastic measures in order to try and control the 2012 Boston Red Sox.
20. I choose players as if I were to choose a dance partner.
- This one actually makes a great deal of sense, though we should cut Bobby some slack because of the fact that he had to make due with the roster that the Boston front office provided to him. Kevin Youkilis may be the Greek God of Walks, but he was a lousy Salsa partner.