The Many Offers For Kyle Lohse

Today, word came out that Kyle Lohse has yet to receive a single contract offer this offseason despite coming off of a year in which he went 16-3 with a 2.86 ERA. This is patently untrue.

Sure, the fact that the team that signs the 33 year old with a history of league averageness would have to give up a draft pick has depressed the market some, but perhaps Kyle Lohse should stop feeling so high and mighty. While he may be unhappy with his contract offers, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t received any.

Just look at a few of them that he’s unceremoniously turned down:

Marlins: Free room and board with a generous $30 per diem.
Indians: Attached garage apartment with 30 inch TV (cable included but no pay stations) in Cleveland suburbs. Family agrees to drive Lohse to games and to nearby events within reason.
Diamondbacks: Three pool passes to be used at any game on non-blackout dates along with $300 in Subway gift cards.
Pirates: Coupon pack good for services in and around the Pittsburgh metro area.
Blue Jays: Coupon pack good for three back rubs from Alex Anthopolos.
Mets: One month MetroCard and voucher good for free hamburger with purchase of another hamburger from Shake Shack (valid only at Citi Field location).
Dodgers: $30,000 salary as clubhouse janitor and emergency pitcher should every other starter need Tommy John surgery.

So, no, Mr. Lohse, perhaps those offers aren’t up to your overly fancy standards. But as a working man, they seem pretty nice to me.