Catching Up With Some Of The Remaining Free Agents

We are almost at the end of January and ready to head into February with great anticipation for a swell baseball season to come. At this point in the offseason, many of the bigger free agent names have signed some rather lucrative contracts, Zack Greinke and Josh Hamilton especially.

However, there are still a few players who have received surprisingly limited demand and who thus are still looking to sign. These are their stories and the marks they have left on the Internet over the last few months.

Michael Bourn’s Craigslist Missed Connection Ad: You were the bald man with the funny and foreign-sounding last name (Zud-check?) that I met briefly at the Winter Meetings in Nashville. I was the outfielder who ordered a Tom Collins at the bar and talked to you about the importance of Gold Glove defense. You seemed to be engaged in my conversation and following along at first, but towards the end, you appeared to lose interest. In the off chance that you see this and want to re-connect, give me a call. That is, if you haven’t already moved on.
Kyle Lohse Resume Excerpt Taken From LinkedIn: Objective - to out-pitch Roy Halladay for the second year in a row. Pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals, 2008 - 2012 - threw a ball from a mound, won the World Series, started a weekly game of Magic: The Gathering. Skills - maintaining low strikeout numbers, Microsoft Office 2007, fluent in Mandarin (but don’t test me lol).
Shaun Marcum Facebook Timeline Updates: September 6, 2005 - Debuted in the Majors with the Toronto Blue Jays. July 17, 2007 - Saw the Big Lebowski for the first time. September 22, 2008 - Underwent Tommy John Surgery. January 10, 2010 - Ate the most amazing banh mi. December 6, 2010 - Traded to Milwaukee Brewers. January 31, 2012 - Signed incredibly lucrative six-year deal with the Philadelphia Phillies.
Scott Hairston’s LiveJournal - Mood: Contemplative; Listening To: Radiohead - “Creep;” Really thought I was an $8 million player, but apparently I’m just a $2 million player. Sometimes, it all just makes methink that I should have stuck with my dream and launched a boutique line of men’s dress hats. Whatever, Thom Yorke gets me.