Old Time Family Baseball

As I reminisce about the old Dannon commercials where the delights of the consumption of yogurt were related to joys of owning a private island or receiving a long massage, I can’t help but think that Major League Baseball is missing out on a huge marketing opportunity.

After all, one would assume that yogurt consumers make up a considerable untapped market that the MLB can target.

This is like, watching baseball reporters argue on Twitter good.

This is like, firing it through the Internet good.

This is like, devaluing pitcher wins as a standalone stat good.

This is like, Giancarlo Stanton long bomb good.

This is like, Ross Gload existed and played baseball good.

Plus, the baseball player name-yogurt flavor connections are too irresistible to pass up. Who wouldn’t want to try something like Darryl Strawberry on the Bottom, Todd Coffey, Felix Pie Surprise, or Chili Davis Swirl? Like baseball as a sport, yogurt is a food that must evolve with the times in order to stay popular.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t note that yogurt could easily become a game-day staple of fans in the stands and fans watching at home. Picture a sweltering summer day at Camden Yards. The Orioles and Blue Jays are engaged in a mammoth game that’s well into extra innings, and the concession stands have stopped serving ice cold beer. Salvation appears in the form of a gangly youth hucking plastic bottles filled with thick, lukewarm Mike Trout Chunk.

You hadn’t lived!