Jose Canseco should have approached Cartoon Network a long time ago to make a cartoon out of his life. Because most of what he does makes zero sense for a human being, but make perfect sense for a cartoon person. Like sending your twin brother in your place to a Celebrity Boxing event. Who does that?
The only problem was that the switcheroo was discovered by a pair of meddling kids. Or the promoter of the event.
From the Miami Herald:
"Damon Feldman, promoter of the celebrity boxing program, which also includes female boxing, had tell about 400 fans who had paid their tickets that there would not be a fight.
“We discovered the Canseco who showed up was Ozzie when he took off his shirt and didn’t have José’s tattoos on the biceps that appear in our advertising,” a Celebrity Boxing representative told El Nuevo Herald. The man said he did not want to be identified.
José Canseco did not respond to telephone calls.”
You certainly can’t blame, Jose. I mean, after all, he’s got that gorgeous face of his to take care of. And what’s the point of having a similarly built twin brother if he can’t take a punch for you from time to time?
But Jose still had to protect his image, firing paranoid conspiracy theories into Twitter. After asking “who is smart enough” to know what happened at a boxing match, Jose lets loose my favorite tweet of all time:
Jose Canseco’s media crit is one part typo-ridden mess, one part Sex Panther description, and three parts the kind of crazy that only a Canseco can provide.
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