We all know how important the clubhouse hierarchy is. Rookies are there to be heard and not seen, veterans get the back of the bus, and no one, and I mean no one, gets in the way of Delmon Young and his beauty revitalization cream.
But something that is never talked about is the importance of one alpha mustache on a roster. Think about it, in baseball’s modern age, can you think of a club with more than one mustache sprouter? I’ll tell you why you can’t: mustache hierarchy.
Fortunately, Carson Cistulli was able to ask John Axford about his competition with Doug Melvin for Mustache of Milwaukee. Said Axford:
“I think [Melvin] knows that his stache — it’s been there for good. It’s been the same, business-like upper-lip sweater that it has been for the last many, many years. And mine’s gone through its phases. It’s changed…. Maybe that’s a part of intimidation. He’s had his for so long that I don’t feel like I deserve to have the same kind of mustache style.”
Come spring training, this will be the important stories to follow. And be sure to check out the rest of Axford’s interview in which he reveals just what Ryan Gosling’s purpose on this Earth is.