Lenny Dykstra Has No Limits

Within the past two months Dykstra has already been interviewed while drunk and arrested for bankruptcy fraud, and, not surprisingly, Charlie Sheen has come to his rescue. Sheen put up $22,500 to bail Dykstra out of jail, saying this in the process:

“The rendition guilty trolls that kidnapped my dear friend Nails clearly forgot that he’s a fellow Vatican assassin and his best pal is a warlock.”

We’re going to need a Tolkien scholar to be able to translate that mess. 

But wait, it gets worse, as a woman he hired to be his housekeeper is suing him because:

“…Dykstra led her to a guesthouse, gave her a box of oils, disrobed and jumped on a bed.

“He said he had a lot of injuries from being an athlete and needed her to massage him as part of the job,” Fiore said. “That’s when she ran out.”

Keep up the great work, Lenny! 

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