People say that the headline should tease you, but not give everything away. Well, there’s not much to hide here.
In case you missed the huge news coming out of Livonia, MI, Miguel Cabrera has released his very own salsa. Which is great. That excites me. The opportunity to only consume baseball-related objects, entertainment, and food throughout my days is what I look for in life. Here is my concern: the packaging.
See, this is what Miguel Cabrera’s salsa looks like:
That’s it. A salsa jar that continues the horrible act of cruelty on man by making salsa jars deeper than the chip, forcing you to either pour it into a bowl (and who has that kind of time?) or, conversely, get salsa goo all over your hand.
Not only that, but the flavors are “Mild,” “Medium” and “Hot.” That’s boring. Shouldn’t that be “Buntacular Mild,” “Not Prince Fielder’s Shirt Size Medium” and “Round the Bases, Momma, Cuz This Hot One is Going Out”? Granted, I’m not a big-time Madison Avenue advertising hotshot, but those are the names I came up with in roughly 30 seconds while watching the Reds on TV.
Plus, Miguel Cabrera is coming off of the triple crown. So while licensing issues prevent PLB Sports (creator of Verlander’s Fastball Flakes) from using the Tigers logo, nothing is stopping them from photoshopping Miguel Cabrera with a scepter and crown, proclaiming him the Triple Crown winner in Talent, Taste, and Tortilla-Based Snacking.
In case anyone is reading this and wants more of my ideas, I made a quick mockup of what this product could look like:
But maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps PLB Sports spent all of their money on flavor scientists, ensuring that the product inside the jars lives up to Cabrera’s name. And if that’s the case, well, I take back all that I said.
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- travisequalsmusic said: I’d buy the “Round the Bases, Momma, Cuz This Hot One is Going Out” one, and I don’t even really like salsa….
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