(Photo by Keith Allison)
It’s Friday. And dammit, Friday should be celebrated the only way a human being knows how: by watching a Munenori Kawasaki supercut. For those about to go dancing for the evening, looking to impress and potentially attract a mate, here are a few simple dance moves, demonstrated by the doctor of dance, the grand master of groove, the boss of the boogie himself, Munenori Kawasaki. So pay attention, you could learn a couple things.
Without further adieu, may I present to you:
The Warm Up Motion
This is a good one to start your night out, perhaps while putting on your favorite silk shirt and velvet blazer. Not only does this get the blood moving and the muscles limber, but notice the three little taps to the right that Kawasaki does? That’s to lineup where all the butts will be.
The Running Man
This is the perfect option when defending your dance floor turf. Start running in place, deadly serious. Be sure to pump those limbs quickly, up and down, with frantic intensity as this will not only scare off intruders, but burn a lot of calories too. However, be careful, because just as security is about to be called, give a sweeping flap of our arms and flash your winning smile. This will alert everyone that, yeah, you’re serious, but you’re also tons of fun.
The Welcome Back Kotter
While club goers may not have the added benefit of 30,000 people waving colorful sperm-shaped balloons (actually, maybe that is what happens in nightclubs, I couldn’t say), we can still learn plenty from this routine. Get the crowd involved by waving your arms back and forth, as if you don’t care (but you really do as sincerity means everything on the dance floor).
Then, as the drum beat builds, get into a crouch, showing off your massive biceps like you’re The Hulk, before popping up and doing extremely precise, sharp moves. This tells robots that you could defeat them at their own emotionless game.
The No Pulmonary Embolism For Me
While airplanes are tons of fun, what with their ability to fly in the sky (Megashark attacks notwithstanding), and how you get to take off your shoes in a public space, they are also extremely dangerous. On long distance flights, the risk of pulmonary embolisms and blood clots are very real, so be sure to move around the cabin when the seat belt sign has been turned off. Rather than slowly shuffling to the bathroom and back, take a page out of Munenori Kawasaki’s book and alternate air guitar and air surfing with brief hip thrusts. Everyone loves a rambunctious guy or girl on a plane, so this could easily be you!
The Star Catcher
Though you may not realize it, Munenori Kawasaki is a celestial being. And sometimes, to prevent a star from supernova-ing and taking out a small planet, the offending star must be captured and smashed back to its base atomic particles.
Though you probably can’t travel the cosmos, destroying star matter along your way like Kawasaki, the motion still makes for a very good dance. Notice how Kawasaki slides from side to side, measuring the size of the star and finding his point of attack. It’s also a quite similar to the Electric Slide, a move that has never gone out of style. Once you’re limber and prepared, snatch your hand out in one quick motion, grab the ‘star’ and bring it down to the ground, pulverizing it. A great tip for a non-celestial is to have a handful of glitter, releasing it in a wondrous arc as you bring to the ground.
The Dance Fight
Kawasaki is usually a peaceful man, but with dance moves as smooth and graceful as his, occasionally a full out dance war will be brought his way by people offended at his exuberance and hubris. Surrounding yourself with three of your best steppers, get in sync with each other, your heartbeats as one, and show off your amazing kicking AND hopping abilities. Usually, the opponent will be too frightened by the sharp kicks and tight group dynamics to dare face you.
The Stoic Batusi
The Batusi is one of mankind’s greatest dance moves, brought to us by a former master of the dance floor, Batman. Here, Kawasaki takes a new, stoic take that is appropriate for weddings and funerals.
So get out there, be safe, and as always, do as Munenori Kawasaki would do.
(huge thanks to @the_hereford for sending me clips)
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