13 days shy of 21 years ago, the Pittsburgh Pirates played their last playoff game. And while tonight’s Wild Card play-in game against the Reds stretches the boundaries of what can be considered the “postseason,” hey, with a wait that long, there’s reason to celebrate.
So tonight, while tuning into TBS for the game, here a few ground rules to get you toasted, nicely toasted:
A Hearty Gulp
- Crowd shots of the beer vendor with the great mustache and ’70s uniform.
- AJ Burnett’s love of Batman is mentioned.
- Gerrit Cole is referred to as “Cole Train.”
- Any footage of Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell, Kent Tekulve, or Andy Van Slyke.
- Discussion of Andrew McCutchen’s MVP merits using advanced statistics.
- Francisco Liriano exudes some semblance of effort when up to bat.
- Any mention of Dave Littlefield or Cam Bonifay.
There are plenty more rules to dictate your drinking behavior, but you’ll have to click through to check it out.
Oh, and yeah, drink responsibly. If I hear that anyone gets on the road after having too much to drink, your mother and I will be at your house to give you the scolding of a lifetime.
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