Statistics I Wish Were Real

While WAR, Leverage Index, and Weighted Runs Created are all beautiful and fine in their own right, I’m still left wanting, yearning, hoping for something more. 

These are the stats I wish were real: 

  • FaRT - Fair Run Total
  • Cake Batter Average - How much cake batter a player consumes per game
  • ODBP - Old Dirty Bastard Percentage
  • WEINER - Wins Enhanced In Neutral EnviRonment 
  • Gaffes - Like errors, but not as bad. 
  • FAP - Fielding Autonomous Pitching
  • Replacements %- How much players like The Replacements
  • $/LB/Win - How much salary is spent per pound of weight for each win. Like a butcher shop of victory. 
  • Covert OPS - Top Secret On-Base Plus Slugging
  • DiCK - Dingers in Cold Klimates
  • Babysitter - % chance that the player is a good babysitter with reasonable rates

So come on statheads, lets get these ready to go for next spring. 

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    some of these would be for real useful.
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