Your Facial Hair Horoscope
If you watched last night’s Blue Jays vs. Athletics game, there were two excellent examples of facial hair that may actually reveal a good amount about you as a person. I speak, naturally, of Eric Thames and Conor Jackson.
If you prefer Thames’ Tony Stark-esque goatee and angular sideburns, chances are these describe you:
Pro: You value creativity and free speech. You want to make a statement wherever you go.
Con: You enjoy bottle service at exclusive nightclubs.
Pro: You enjoy 1970s Blaxploitation and Kung Fu movies.
Con: Yet fail to see the genius he genius in The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires.
And if you prefer Jackson’s standard beard:
Pro: You wear flannel unironically and know how to use many tools.
Con: Your favorite TV show is a tie between Home Improvement and Pros Vs. Joes
Pro: You enjoy bluegrass music and the musical stylings of Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy.
Con: You listen to Dave Matthews while “pumping iron” in your garage.
So, what kind of person are you?