Your Facial Hair Horoscope
If you watched last night’s Blue Jays vs. Athletics game, there were two excellent examples of facial hair that may actually reveal a good amount about you as a person. I speak, naturally, of Eric Thames and Conor Jackson.
If you prefer Thames’ Tony Stark-esque goatee and angular sideburns, chances are these describe you:
Pro: You value creativity and free speech. You want to make a statement wherever you go.
Con: You enjoy bottle service at exclusive nightclubs.
Pro: You enjoy 1970s Blaxploitation and Kung Fu movies.
Con: Yet fail to see the genius he genius in The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires.
And if you prefer Jackson’s standard beard:
Pro: You wear flannel unironically and know how to use many tools.
Con: Your favorite TV show is a tie between Home Improvement and Pros Vs. Joes
Pro: You enjoy bluegrass music and the musical stylings of Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy.
Con: You listen to Dave Matthews while “pumping iron” in your garage.
So, what kind of person are you?
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Daily news, recaps, and ridiculous pictures from across the baseball world. Extra focus on stirrup socks, squeeze bunts, mustaches and old baseball cards. In other words, your exact interests.
Questions and comments? Email me: oldtimefamilybaseball@gmail.com
