Old Time Family Baseball

With the Yankees leading 22-8 thanks to first ever three grand slam day, Joe Girardi consulted his famous binder and played Jorge Posada at second base for the first time since he was in High-A in 1991. Here are a few of the other things that Girardi would have ordered had the game grown further out of hand:

Wear gloves as cleats and cleats as gloves.
Let a police horse try and pitch to a few batters.
Replace the Gatorade with Miller Lite.
Give free hot dogs for everyone in New York.
Put only seven players in the field to “make it interesting.”
Offer to let Billy Beane take a few cracks.
End the game early and buy the entire Athletics squad a round of shots.
Have all the players jump up and down until they puke.

And because knowledge is power, here are a few, 100% accurate facts:

The game was delayed by 1 hour and 29 minutes because of rain. The first three innings then took 1 hour and twenty seven minutes. The rest of the game? 3 hours, 2 minutes.
The 13 run lead that the Yankees finished with is the highest ever for a team that was losing by at least six.
The Yankees were 6-for-13 with two walks and a sacrifice fly with the bases loaded. That’s for a single game, mind you. For comparison’s sake, Coco Crisp has six at-bats with the bases loaded for the entire season.
Mark Teixeira was 0-for-4 with 2 RBI and 2 walks. He was the only hitless Yankee.