Stirrup Sock Hop

If you know anything about me, you should know that I value stirrup socks the way some value god, country, and family. Most of us cannot get away with bloused pants and colorful socks in our day to day lives (and if you can, I envy you, sir or madam), and so I have trouble understanding why a baseball player would want to cover those calves up with what is essentially polyester sweatpants rather than pull on some gorgeous stirrup socks.

Michael Vitez of the Philly Inquirer steps in and talks to some players about their preferred on-field dress, and needless to say, it’s required reading for the baseball sartorialists out there. He even drops this revelation in the middle of the article:

“John Thorn, Major League Baseball’s official historian, said that when the sport began in the 1830s and 1840s, all players wore long pants.

In the 1860s, the owner of the Cincinnati team, borrowing from his experience in cricket, shortened players’ pants, “trying to create a sensation,” Thorn said. “High socks displayed manly calves, which the ladies liked.”

That’s right, if it weren’t for the rampant objectification of men in the 1860s, the stirrup sock would never have been born. I also wish I could have lived during this time when the equivalent of Playgirl would be titled something like “High Sock Quarterly.” I would read that magazine. For the articles.

And while many of the Phillies that Vitez talked to admit that their preference has a lot to do with comfort instead of the prevailing fashions of the day, many choose long pants only after having been forced to keep their socks high throughout the minors. Michael Stutes added that it was a “big thing” to be able to lower his pants when he reached the Major Leagues.

Which makes a lot of sense. I remember waiting all through Little League to get to the “Majors” so that I could wear the tee-shirts printed with Major League team names and logos instead of the “Fairfield American” ones that I had to wear during my journey. For professional baseballers, the ability to show off their new-found freedom to choose must have a lot to do with their fashion decisions.

So I beg you, GMs of the world, let your players go without the high socks in the minor leagues. That way, upon reaching the Big Leagues they will want to show off their impressive eye for fashion and tradition by pulling on the stirrups, preferably with nice wide horizontal stripes across the top. Or put incentives in their contracts. I’m fine with either.